Monday, May 23, 2011

Day 231: "You keep handing out horseshoes. Horseshoes have gotta be tossed."




For years I thought it was OK to just wait for things to fall into my lap.
Artistic opportunities, jobs, lovers…
And they did.
Strangely enough.
My sister always said, “You are the luckiest person I know, things always come to you!”
She was right.
I was just a lucky person.

Until I wasn't anymore.
And things stopped falling into my lap.
$10,000 development deals with Warner Records turned into corporate gigs with a latino band.
My day job was no longer a part time thing but a daily ritual to pay off accumulating bills.
And I was suddenly single in an unfamiliar dating world that had become shallow, tricky and complicated.
What happened to my horseshoe?
All this time I had been holding onto a lucky star, and I never realized it let go of me.
I got lazy, didn’t pull my own weight and it dropped me.

I soon gave up on what I wanted.
I was repeatedly drawn to people that I thought had a special spark or talent.
And I bent over backwards to help them, I wanted them to succeed at what I hadn’t.
I started to ask myself questions:
Why wasn't I throwing this energy into a project of my own?
Why didn’t I believe in myself the way I believed in them?
Why wasn't I in a job where I was valued for my leadership and ideas?
And why the hell wasn't I in a relationship that was a partnership?

After much soul searching I figured out that sitting in the backseat is not as exciting as driving.
Slumps can and will extend themselves into years and years of questioning.
Waiting for your lucky shot…
But one day you wake up and you are just ready to do the work yourself.
The hard work required to accomplish the things that mean something to you.
The changes you need to make to attract the love you want.
The way you have to live your life so that you command respect.
That means being vulnerable.
That means being open.
That means getting off your ass.
No more riding coattails of lucky stars.
Luck is not just for the lucky.
It’s for the brave ones that throw horseshoes every chance they get.

4 comments:

  1. Now that's lateral thinking - I'd never thought of quoits as a means to improve life and attract a lover; Morris dancing yes, cheese rolling - perhaps, but quoits?

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  2. wow....this makes so much sense

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  3. @Nadyne: love you too, sweet girl!

    @David: Oy! Correspondence with you keeps me regularly referencing Wikipedia and Google. Ding! Ding! You've got mail ol' chap! Check your inbox.

    @Sarah: Phew...I was afraid the horseshoe analogy was a little too vague. Thanks for the visit and comment!

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