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Showing posts from July, 2011

Day 295: I'll have the usual, please.

It’s typical how we chase ‘boring old normal’, like it was our favourite dress to wear, when an uncomfortable new reality doesn’t fit at all. I was just lying on my balcony chair, with an ice pack on my head, watching the clouds fly by me and cursing myself for ever wanting more than I had. We are too often not in ourselves, not present. Holding on to the past, worried about the future. We seldom appreciate the normalness of life: the good health, the ordinary love, and the simple walls that contain us.   What a shame. Normal is the best thing on the market for a good quality of life, and we indebt ourselves attempting to buy everything else.

Day 284: "two, three, four, tell the people what she wore..."

It would seem that in ‘public pool world’ it is absolutely fine to check out both sexes. You might even hold the gaze of one or the other. But what’s really happening is that you’re looking at the men to decipher if they are on your team. And you’re looking at the women to compare their bodies to your own. This game can last all afternoon.  And it does. I see it happening all around me. It’s a people watching extravaganza. It’s the envy parade. It’s enough to never get you off your towel and into the water. It's exhausting! I have, only recently, become quite comfortable in my own skin. 33 years old…it’s about time, right? This is my body. I could do a lot more for it, quite honestly, but it’s alright. I have curves.  But aren’t women supposed to have those? I have imperfections. But doesn’t that make me human? I have hair that looks like a mop after being in the water. But aren’t hats so stylish? The point is, I feel it’s time to cut myself some slack. I am not goin

Day 283: The Primrose Path

Was there ever a brighter day? Was there ever a darker night? Waiting with anticipation. Tickled pink with shades of vermilion. Thunder crackled in her heart. And she held the wall for support. The weather was clear. But still the breeze coated her skin with the light touch of rain. Lingering doubt was no longer welcome. It tried to fly to her, but it was a bird with a broken wing. She took it in her hands, caressed it, and placed it on the balcony. Looking back at it for only a second before closing the window behind her. She drew the shades. Lit a match. An aroma of incense clouded the room. And like a wet rag of smelling salts she inhaled the sweet smell of unbottled sin.

Day 280: It's raining.

Ask any heart to confess its weakness and it will sound like rain against the window. Soft and gentle. Hard and tumultuous. Steady and strong. And after the heart has confessed the windows shine brightly. Clean. And clear. Until the next storm passes through.

Day 270: Master Of My Own Demise

The Matrix. Not just a movie. It’s the code impossible to decipher by singles on dates everywhere. Situation: You go on a date with a guy you have a huge crush on. You talk. You make assumptions with the conversation. You test the waters. You speak in code. On purpose. You act a little the way you think they want you to. They don’t respond to that, so then you act like yourself. You look crazy for changing mid-date. You’re not playing games. You’re just nervous. You like this person. You think. But you can’t tell if he likes you. Vague signals are sent your way. He smiles at you. Sits close on the pub table. Your outer forearms are touching. You feel a little jolt of chemistry. You relax. Then he says, “You should totally sell your stuff and live abroad if that’s what you want to do.” Your body tenses up. What does that mean on date #1, exactly? Matrix. In one sentence he tries to figure out where you see this 'relationship' going. In another,