Monday, March 7, 2011

Day 154: Voices

Guest Blogger: sideproject

Discussion: Voices.

sideproject: I’ve been thinking about voices. A voice can escape from your life. If it is ever granted a return, its singular existence becomes the access to memories, emotions…mistakes…laughter. A voice can make you cringe or make your heart start to race. It’s the only part of a daydream that you can’t actually replicate authentically. You can imagine being with a person, you can study their picture, or re-read their emails, but amongst all of the exploration of the past, the voice remains protected. It’s almost like the treasure chest of emotions. Once you hear the voice, the chest opens. Pandora’s box.

365Attempts: It’s true. It’s the vivid missing puzzle piece that breathes life into the fantasy. It’s the reason we save voice mails.  To remember the inflections, the accent, the enunciation, the turn of phrase, the familiarity. To make it real again. Otherwise, it’s just our voice doing a really poor impersonation.

sideproject: Yes. A voice authenticates the unknown. It can affirm thoughts into true feelings or it can introduce an element of realism into fantasy. My stomach turns into knots when I think that I might never hear a voice again. Not just a lover, but a parent, grandparent, or a friend. I need a drink. Where’s the scotch?

365Attempts: Yeah, I know. It’s hard to think about, isn’t it? I try not to let my mind wander there. Well, I say that, but at the same time I recently watched an old home video just to remember what my grandmother sounded like. The way she laughed. I had forgotten it. Hearing it again was completely heart wrenching, but I had her back for less than a minute. If I rewound, maybe two.

sideproject: That's the point. You had her back. You could have read one of her letters, or seen a picture, but it was the voice that brought her back to life.

365Attempts: Yeah, it was so bittersweet. Her voice was the consolation and the grief all at once. Even though I could hear the words coming out of her mouth, they were still words frozen in time. It wasn’t new words. The conversation remained over. But you’re absolutely right, the voice is the essence of the person. It was the only thing I couldn't summon to memory on my own.

sideproject: It’s the essence of the person that stands out in a grey area. It makes me wonder if hearing the voice of a past lover can act as a trigger for old emotions or if it can become the evidence of feelings that have stood the test of time. Does absence makes the voice grow stronger?

365Attempts: I’m not sure. It’s tricky. It depends on what the person still means to you today. In romantic situations, that voice is intricately attached to your time with them and your loss of them. It’s a heavy dose of nostalgia. The worst kind of nostalgia: “unfinished business nostalgia”.  And that conjures up all sorts of mixed feelings, as it struggles to find it’s place in the present.

sideproject: It can mix up emotions or it can clarify desires.  All I know is that a voice can take root somewhere inside you. And when it resurfaces, you realize that it never really left.



1 comment:

  1. What a fascinating discussion you two, thank you. It's really set me thinking, and agreeing. The voice is so completely unique, like a fingerprint able to convey emotion and all that is vital about a person. It really is true, the things we value most are impossible to see or hold. Thank you ladies, brilliant as always.


    xo,r

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