Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Day 163: The one about the cat napping.

Almost two years ago my friends and I met up at a restaurant for Marcie’s birthday dinner. Well, I was waiting for them to arrive because as usual, half the crew was late. Really late. Like lose-your-reservation-if-they-don’t-arrive-soon kinda late. Here’s why:

Christina: We tried to save a pregnant ...

Marcie: ...toothless...

Christina: from having her child in the cold September rain. On our way rushing down the stairs, we spotted her meowing. And pacing uncontrollably. We knew something was wrong. Who paces like that if they’re not stressed?

Marcie: I initially thought it was an ironic joke, because my b-days are always so colorful. Remember the one when I got dumped via a short note?

365Attempts: I do, buddy.

Christina: The cat-napping was so much worse than that.

365Attempts: OK, back-story to the cat napping thing is that Marcie was volunteering at the SPCA around that time and suddenly had very sharp spidey senses anytime animals were concerned. So, that being said, she saw this cat and immediately thought it was pregnant and about to go into labour.

Marcie: I didn’t think it was pregnant! In fact I said, “Guys I have seen pregnant cats and that cat has dead babies, if it is!”

Christina: She’s right. I assumed it was pregnant because what else would it be! It was a pacing cat! I don’t know much about animals. I know that they need to be fed. And I know that cat’s look nervous when they are about to go into labour. That’s all I needed to go on. We needed to find this cat a bed. So I ran upstairs to grab a laundry basket. Made a make-shift foam mattress, and brought the contraption safely to the kitty so that it could relax and birth it’s (dead?) babies. That didn’t work.

Marcie: That’s when I said, “Let it out of the stairwell so it can find it’s way home.”

365Attempts: So what did you guys do next?

Christina: Obviously, we listened to Marcie.

Marcie: The cat kept getting into these hard to reach places, under the stairs, behind bushes, behind the garbage bins. So I made the girls get can of tuna and a towel. (Ahhh thinking about it now is cracking me up!) We put the tuna on the ground and waited for the cat to gobble it up. I mean, it must have been hungry, seeing that it was lost and in labor!

365Attempts: Right.

Marcie: That cat could not have cared less about the tuna...(another strange thing that still didn’t clue me in!) So here we are, four girls surrounding a fat orange tabby, who is starting to not look so stray, hungry and pregnant.

365Attempts: Bunch of good Samaritan dorks.

Marcie: Samaritan dorks, I like that! I decided I was just going to pick the cat up. Then Susy said, “I don’t think you should, it is a stray! What if it attacks?!” I did anyway. And the cat loved being picked up (another clue!). At this point I did interject, “Ummm guys, this stray/hungry/pregnant cat is really friendly!”

365Attempts: Cats in labour are not usually friendly?

Christina: I felt confident, at that point, that we were doing the right thing. Saving a friendly cat from death.

365Attempts: Hahaha it went from labor to death.

Marcie: We quickly placed her in the laundry basket, covered her in the towel and rushed her to the SPCA! Erica was driving that night, and she was very unimpressed by the entire situation. I think steam was coming out of her ears.

365Attempts: Oh my God, that’s a dire situation. A cat in labor and a pissed off Erica.

Marcie: When we got to the SPCA , I frantically explained the ENTIRE story to my supervisor (who I thought was gorgeous in a ‘I-plant-trees-have-sexy-french-accent’ kind of way) and he burst out laughing. He looked at me in a ‘you-are-absolutely-adorable-and-I-am-in-love-with-you’ kind of way...

365Attempts: (insert eye roll here)--->

Marcie: OK, no that didn't happen (I wish!) but he did look at me like I was an adorable good Samaritan dork! Then he announced, “This cat is not preggers because SHE is in fact a HE, and HE no longer has any of his teeth. Which is an extremely expensive procedure, so he couldn't possible be a stray.

365Attempts: Oh dear Lord.

Marcie: Yep. That was the moment. The moment we realized we stole someone’s old-fart toothless male cat.

Christina: None of us thought to look for a penis. I wonder what that means?

Marcie: You can’t tell a cat’s sex like that anyway...You have to look at their bumhole.

Christina: Wow.

365Attempts: Bumhole. Is that the medical term? Ahhh, good times. Marcie, side note: if I ever have a fat, toothless, male, pregnant cat hiding under the stairwell, I hope it finds someone as kind as you to almost get it put down.

Marcie: Hey, that cat had a great adventure and he did end up back home where he belonged the next day. If he wasn’t claimed, I was ready to take him home.

365Attempts: Good Samaritan Dork AND thief.

Marcie: The next day there was a sign on the apartment building door with the cat’s pic that read Hello my name is Wilie. I am a bit of an escape artist. Should you ever find me roaming the halls, please bring me back to apt 28! 

365Attempts: hahahahaha whoops!

Marcie: Yeah. Thanks for the b-day fun, Willie!


  1. Hilarious story girls! My favourite lines are Marcie's "He looked at me in a ‘you-are-absolutely-adorable-and-I-am-in-love-with-you’ kind of way..." and Christina's "The cat-napping was so much worse than that." (re Marcie's last birthday when she got dumped via short note). Poor Marcie!! ha ha ha

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