Monday, March 21, 2011

Day 168: It will leave you behind.

Like an out of body experience I lived yesterday completely outside myself.
I was moving, eating, listening but I was somewhere else.
Unable to get any vacation time, I took a holiday from me for the day.
Without choice in the matter.
It’s like my Self said, “That's it! Enough of you. I need a break!”
And I’d catch myself staring into space listlessly while friends were conversing or laughing.
I wasn’t thinking of anything.
I was blank.
I just floated above it.
I wasn’t there.
It was weird.
And my body felt heavy.
Like those dreams where you can’t seem to stop falling asleep.
So disconnected.
So dazed.
I didn’t like it.
I wanted the rest of me to escape, too.
I wanted to run after my spirit and apologize for being such a pain in the ass lately.
To ask it not to leave me here feeling so zombified.
But I didn’t have the energy to.
I just didn’t.
As I walked out of the restaurant we were in, I saw a flyer.
It read: Have you found your proper balance yet?

Sneaky Self…you take off without me and you leave me homework.


  1. You were just trying to keep yourself on your toes.. it happens. :)

    Thanks for your visit to my blog. You mentioned Mt. Royal. I'm a native Montrealer (NDG).. and I so miss it. One of these days I'll have to return for a visit.

  2. Nicely written, clever way to travel, even if you were missing!

  3. Lovely, so simple yet so profound - I often need a break from myself.;) Love that subtle sign in form a flyer, I look for signs constantly these days.;)
    What an ambitious undertaking to post one post every day for a year.;) I almost did this the second year of my blogging - well it became 325 posts at least.;)
    Love your profile picture, it speaks volumes.
    Thnak you so much for your kind visit to my place yesterday and for a lovely comment - so glad my post appealed to you.;)
    Greetings from Denmark,

  4. *Hi Hilary! Thanks for popping in. I'm flattered! My friends all live in NDG, I used to live on Monkland a few years ago too. Great neighborhood. The oldest, loveliest trees there. If you do visit soon, let me know! :)

    *She Writes: Hi! Thanks. I need a few more Self holidays. I think the rest of me got the raw end of the deal that particular day. :)

    Zuzana: Hello Denmark! I read your 'Destiny' piece after a coincidental (?) happening on that particular day. I really like the way you expressed how it sometimes felt like being up against a current. I'm so happy you wrote to say hello. Thanks for your kind feedback.