Monday, March 21, 2011

Day 168: It will leave you behind.

Like an out of body experience I lived yesterday completely outside myself.
I was moving, eating, listening but I was somewhere else.
Completely.
Unable to get any vacation time, I took a holiday from me for the day.
Unconsciously.
Without choice in the matter.
It’s like my Self said, “That's it! Enough of you. I need a break!”
And I’d catch myself staring into space listlessly while friends were conversing or laughing.
I wasn’t thinking of anything.
I was blank.
I just floated above it.
I wasn’t there.
It was weird.
And my body felt heavy.
Like those dreams where you can’t seem to stop falling asleep.
So disconnected.
So dazed.
I didn’t like it.
I wanted the rest of me to escape, too.
I wanted to run after my spirit and apologize for being such a pain in the ass lately.
To ask it not to leave me here feeling so zombified.
But I didn’t have the energy to.
I just didn’t.
As I walked out of the restaurant we were in, I saw a flyer.
It read: Have you found your proper balance yet?
Hmmm.
'Yet'.

Sneaky Self…you take off without me and you leave me homework.



4 comments:

  1. You were just trying to keep yourself on your toes.. it happens. :)

    Thanks for your visit to my blog. You mentioned Mt. Royal. I'm a native Montrealer (NDG).. and I so miss it. One of these days I'll have to return for a visit.

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  2. Nicely written, clever way to travel, even if you were missing!

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  3. Lovely, so simple yet so profound - I often need a break from myself.;) Love that subtle sign in form a flyer, I look for signs constantly these days.;)
    What an ambitious undertaking to post one post every day for a year.;) I almost did this the second year of my blogging - well it became 325 posts at least.;)
    Love your profile picture, it speaks volumes.
    Thnak you so much for your kind visit to my place yesterday and for a lovely comment - so glad my post appealed to you.;)
    Greetings from Denmark,
    xoxo

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  4. *Hi Hilary! Thanks for popping in. I'm flattered! My friends all live in NDG, I used to live on Monkland a few years ago too. Great neighborhood. The oldest, loveliest trees there. If you do visit soon, let me know! :)

    *She Writes: Hi! Thanks. I need a few more Self holidays. I think the rest of me got the raw end of the deal that particular day. :)

    Zuzana: Hello Denmark! I read your 'Destiny' piece after a coincidental (?) happening on that particular day. I really like the way you expressed how it sometimes felt like being up against a current. I'm so happy you wrote to say hello. Thanks for your kind feedback.

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