Friday, December 3, 2010

Day 60: Was it real?

Have you noticed, that due to consistently developing technology, personal contact is evaporating? According to most people, I’m supposed to want to try to meet men online. Apparently it is the new way to ‘put yourself out there’. But today’s new dating reality is that couples primarily meet and communicate digitally. It is intimacy through Internet. It almost makes it fictitious in some ways, like it’s not happening in real time. That worries me.

I have no idea when it was that even I jumped the ‘virtual emotional’ bandwagon. All I know is that I’m uncomfortable with this realization. I love to express myself in writing, but is it the easier way out? Sure there are always specific circumstances to hide behind the choice of the written word (distance, secrecy, shyness) but if you have something important to say to another being, shouldn’t the words be spoken and not typed?  Does writing and reading it not dispossess the value and weight of the intended sentiment? 

Kind of like the whole ‘tree falling in the forest’ analogy: if I pour my heart out in an email, and the person decides to read and delete it, did I ever say it? Were the genuine feelings I attached to the email actually felt? Did any of it ever happen, really?  In a bizarre way, because of the digital medium, I’m not quite certain I’ve actually experienced any of it; which is confusing because my heart and inbox tell me otherwise. Essentially, it is a relationship with my laptop or smart phone that is evolving or dissipating, right? Ugh, I don't know... I guess I am sort of thinking out loud here. (Read that last sentence over. Ah, the paradox!).

No hypocrisy, folks, I am conscious that I am sharing these thoughts through the web. And yes, I’m an avid texter. I appreciate that technology has opened doors to communicate faster, more efficiently and to a far broader audience. But for emotional and relationship matters, it might just be too much. And after significant debate with myself, and others, I don’t think it’s for me. 


  1. And how real is all of it or any of it? I think the answer to that question lies completely in our hands. Namely how real do you want it to be? Well, I can’t speak for others but I can speak for myself. Yes I do spend time with strangers online communicating on blogs and such but I think that’s a good thing; as not everyone I know in my life is probably as passionate about these things. And rather than let go of it I reach out. Does it lead to intellectual and emotional masturbation? Yes it does. All things relating to culture in it’s very essence is nothing but a celebration of hedonistic indulgence. Do I at times relate to people online more than those around me? Of course, but like in life too, I don’t connect with all those that I come across. Is it real? It is as real as talking to a stranger for a brief moment that you meet in a pub or the subway. Can it lead to something more tangible? Well I think the universe offers you as much as a chance to make it something tangible on line as it does off line.

    In the end I think it is what you want to make it to be. But life is like that, don’t you think, online or offline.

    Nischal Vijay Kumar

  2. I partake in today's technology in most of its social arenas but, the one last 'side' of me, my hopeless romantic side, I'm holding in my heart. I can't bare to watch it get tangled up in the web. I"m all about progress but, I've seen enough remnants of other generations to still hope for that 'chemistry', that 'knowing, that comes with meeting the ONE.. or at least.. the NEXT one! ;) To build up on the web and have it not be real.. would be too devastating at this point. Reality for my romance please!