Saturday, August 20, 2011

Day 319: The Ace Is In Your Pocket

We all belong to something.
We have our parents, our siblings, our friends, our partners, our colleagues...
And as we blend, converse and grow we pick up things from them.
Our language and mannerisms become influenced, as do our tastes, and decisions.
We can't help it, we become products of our chosen and unchosen environments.
And our personalities reflect that.
But there comes a time in every life when you have a moment of:
"who am I outside of all of this?"
Trying to figure out what parts of you work.
And what parts are holding you back.
It's a scary question to ask.
That's the tricky thing about this journey of self-awareness, going your own way is a very hard thing to do.
It means asking the difficult questions.
So many of us don't.
We move past that and rally for answers that come from not questioning anything.
We rarely filter out everyone or anyone else and make a choice or decision based on gut feeling.
Based on intuition.
The hardest person to get approval from is yourself.
And yet we look for it from other people all the time.
We are the ones who decide what 'hurts' to move on from.
We are the ones who decide when to move on from them, too.
We hold all our own cards.
But hide the winning hand from sight.
And we bluff through so many situations because that's what we think is expected.
Or maybe we think that the pot can't be ours any other way.
Or with any other player.
We can't keep playing with implied odds.
Expecting to win what isn't exactly on the table.
And we should not let other people make bets on our own happiness.
Even if we trust them.
Even if we admire their estimated guess.
We need to start belonging to ourselves if this game is ever to have a winning streak.

1 comment:

  1. I really enjoyed reading this post and all your fantastic, introspective writing!