Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Day 30: One, two. One, too.

I am a victim of my own dualities.
I am two things at once.
I am a perfectionist. Meticulous to a fault.
Like a detective, no detail escapes me.
But I can be careless and ignorant, too.
Closing my eyes to what I choose not to see.
Oh yes, in matters of the heart, I could not be more dualistic.
The Cynic duels The Romantic on a daily basis, for as long as I can remember.
I have hurt good people and left them, because I could predict every failure.
And I have let people fail me and hurt me quite ‘good’, because they were unpredictable.
I am warm and affectionate. I am frosty, with biting words.
I will laugh louder than anyone in the room. I will cry harder, too.
I will jump right in with a big splash.
Or I will stay 2 feet away from the water, careful enough to not get wet.
I will look upon marriage, as I do, with bewilderment and little faith.
But I will crave companionship with that ‘one’ special person. Every day.
I desire wholeheartedly. I scorn myself for my desire.
I will teach something by being honest.
I will learn something by telling lies.
Oh, dear me.
I will learn the hard way. 
Twice.

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