365 Attempts (At Life)

My buddy sideproject has guest blogged with me here a few times. Usually we get on MSN Messenger to write about our topic together and then I copy/paste the entire conversation into a WORD document before posting it here. Well today, she opened up a Google Document online that we could both view/write on simultaneously. AND (get this) see eachother’s keystrokes live! Too freaky! The conversation that ensued is not thick with plot, but a live experiment with the many wonders of technology (and Google in particular). **Please keep in mind (to better follow the conversation) that as sideproject is typing I am line editing, formatting, and fixing grammar.*** Discussion: Google Searches sideproject :  Did you just erase everything we wrote before this? That was the warm up. 365Attempts : Yes. Yes I did. sideproject : Anyway. I want to post about how when you Google ‘ac’ the first options that pop up are ‘acropolis’ and ‘acrylic nails’. This op...

Hesitation. A four syllable word loaded with consonants, vowels, questions, and stop signs. A word that will rob you of your chance. Go ahead. Think about the risk. Play it out in your head for the millionth time. Map out how it will be. How it will feel. Work out percentages. Talk it over. Or better still, write everyone’s lines. Tomorrow and the day after are gift certificates that never expire, right? So you can take your time and press pause all you like. Walk in circles when you get to the red light. And hope to God it turns green again. Tick-tock.

Her: What were you going to say? Him: Nothing. I wasn’t going to say anything. Her: Oh. It looked like you had something to say. Him: I don’t think I have anything particular to say. Her:   OK. Him: OK. Her:  I feel paralyzed today. Him:  If you were paralyzed you'd feel nothing. Her:   I just feel like everything has decided to stop. That's all. Him: Why? Her:  I don't know. Why not? Him: So start it up again. Her: I can't. Him: Then you have to think that you can , instead. Don't you? Her: You’re so smart. Him: Sometimes. Let’s go for a walk. I might find something to say. Her : I knew you would. Yes, let’s go. Let’s go for a walk. I feel better now. 

We get good at hiding things over the years, don’t we? Hiding them in the back of closets. Under the rug.   Under the bed. Hiding information from the people we care about. Hiding it from ourselves.   Out of sight.   Out of mind. For self preservation. So that we don’t wallow. To keep the peace. To sleep at night. Or for whatever reason we create to justify what we conceal. But the heart remembers. It knows everything. The truth never hides. The truth never lies. Better to act in ways you can be honest about. Better to close doors before opening windows. Better not to collect skeletons.

When you tease like a cat, you can't fly with the birds.