Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Day 344: House Arrest

Well, I have looked lovelier.
Quite honestly, I look like some kid’s science project gone awry.
You see, today is my 24 hour EEG test.
This means I have 27 electrodes glued to my head monitoring brain activity.
(Insert wise crack here).
And that I have to lug around a medium sized recording device and battery pack all day.
I tried to cancel the test, seeing as I’ve had no weird symptoms for over two weeks.
But my neurologist met that request with cold silence.
And then said, “No way”.
So here I am.
At home. Hiding in my living room.
If only this were scheduled on October 31st, I’d have a fun Halloween costume out of it.
I mean, I scared a few people on the street when I brought down my recycling.
I should have at least got some candy out of the deal!
I sent a photo to my sister and best friends thinking it would be funny.
But I have since realized they can now take turns blackmailing me.
Not the smartest tool in the shed, am I?
So many wires!
Every time I near my computer I have to reset the router.
But I must say, the reception on my TV has never been clearer.
My awesome dad (who picked me up at the hospital so I wouldn’t have to walk home looking like this) laughed and said, “You don’t need to dial on your iPhone, just think of the phone number and I’m pretty sure you’ll get an outside line.”
I laughed so hard, a few electrodes almost popped off.
Soooo, looks like I’ll get a lot of reading done today, and maybe have a movie marathon or two.
If anyone wants to hire me for Show and Tell at your son or daughter’s school, I am available for another 22 hours.
You can pay me with food.

3 comments:

  1. Ohhhhh. "Every time I near my computer I have to reset the router."

    That statement alone had me laughing out loud here at my desk. I need a photo: rjnardell@gmail.com! :))

    If anyone can make it work, you can dear. Electrodes are the new black and all that. :) Love this article, and hope you're okay!

    xo

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  2. HAHAH! I'm so glad your doc said NO WAY! It's good to get this done... if not for any results... for comic relief! There's way too many segues to jokes so, I digress!

    Seriously though - no symptoms for two weeks is the best news!

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  3. One of my friends almost made me pee laughing from the overwhelming amount of jokes that came from me sending him the photo. Top two:
    - Are you about to plug into the Matrix?
    - Is that Lady Gaga's latest outfit?

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