Friday, August 12, 2011

Day 311: When you put it that way...

My niece seems rather pre-occupied about my marital status.
Or lack thereof.
My sister presented me with three inscribed crystal new-agey stones that my niece picked out for my birthday. "There were literally hundreds of different words for her to choose from and these were her three choices for you," she explained.
I look in the little sachet. Inside were: 'Health', 'Magic', and (wait for it) 'Sex'.
Ummm… 'Sex'?
She’s six!
So when I saw her tonight, I asked her what the word 'sex' means.
She said, "Sex, you know, like your sex is female and my brother’s sex is male. So maybe you will meet someone from the opposite sex."

And then when it was time to blow out my birthday candles tonight, she yelled, "Wish for a boyfriend!!"
I let the kids blow out the candles for me, and then I had to ask. 

Me:  OK, why do you think I need a boyfriend so bad?
Her:  Because you need to get married and have children or you’re going to end up a nun.
(Studio audience laughter)
Me:  No I’m not.
Her:  Yes. That’s why girls get married, Zia.
Me:  Alright, smarty pants. How do you think I should meet a guy?
Her:  Well. I think you walk down the street, and you find a cute and charming man, and you smile at him.
Me: Oh, really?
Her: Yeah, and then he smiles at you and you fall in love and get married. It's so easy.

At that point, you have to let the six year old kid win her argument.
And tell her you’ll give it a try.
But better keep those stones handy.. know what I'm sayin'?

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