Thursday, July 21, 2011

Day 290: Schvitzing

Wow wow wow wow.  It’s hot.
Sweltering.
Steaming.
Broiling.
Oppressive.
Sizzling. (Hold on, sorry, let me just put this thesaurus down).
I’m thinking about clearing the furniture in my apartment and renting it out for hot yoga classes.
I just took my second shower of the day. 
(I’m sure a third, fourth and fifth will soon follow).
They say when it’s hot to take a hot shower to sort of trick your body temperature.
Yeah, that doesn’t work.
And it’s not refreshing.
At the very least I am sweaty but not stinky.
I feel I need to apologize to my neighbors for all the half nakedness lately.
I am, right now, sitting on the windowsill in my bra and undies typing away.
What?
It’s that or die of heat stroke!
And besides, the ones who could see me are women.
What’s that you say?
Why, yes.
Yes, I do have a perfectly good air conditioner sitting in my closet.
But it’s so nice without that loud whirring machine.
And I like to see the curtains sway while I fall asleep.
I love the birds waking me up with their 4am news conferences.
Oh... who am I kidding?
There’s no breeze to speak of and I’ve taken to sleeping with earplugs lodged so far into my ear I can hear the ocean.
But that damn a/c is a pain in the ass to install.  It’s heavier than me.
And you have to remove the windows, take measurements, cut a piece of plexi glass…yadda yadda yadda.
By the time I figure out how do that properly, Autumn will be on my doorstep.
It can’t stay this hot for too long, right? Right?!
Sigh.
The worst tragedy of this 40 degree Celsius day:  not having any cold beer or watermelon in the fridge.
That ain’t right.
Stay cool, friends.
I’m a going shopping.

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