Saturday, May 28, 2011

Day 236: I ain't ever met a noodle I didn't like.

When the doctor told me I may have a gluten allergy my heart cracked.
He may as well have said the sky was falling and we’re all going to die.
Or that my house burned down and everything was lost.
That’s how much I love pasta.
And to say this one month before my trip to Rome was an unbearable tragedy.
They won’t let me in the country, I thought.
I’m not a real Italian if I am allergic to pasta!
It’s not just a food to me; it’s the nostalgia of my childhood.
It’s the smell of nonna’s house on Sunday.
Tomato sauce was one of the first things I learned to cook as a teen out of a sheer passion for it.
And although I watched people make it, my ingredient selection was an inborn skill.
I had a discerning palate for it.
Pour that sauce over perfectly al dente farfalle and mmmmmm – happy me.
If this doctor was right, I would have to give up one of my life’s simplest pleasures.
I went for the blood test, and commiserated with everyone I knew while waiting for the results.
How could this be?!
Is this the Universe saying I eat too many carbs?
Have I become too curvy?
Then the fateful day of meeting with the stomach specialist for the verdict arrived.
I cringed as he began to speak but he said, “Well, Tanya. That’s not it. No gluten allergy.”
I leaped from my chair and kissed him passionately on the mouth.
OK, I didn’t.
But nobody has ever uttered sexier words to me. EVER.
I sighed with relief that it was only IBS.
I tuned out to whatever else he was saying and leaned closer to the window.
Was that angels I could hear singing?
I exhaled happily.
Because I may not know how to bake a cake to save my life, but I make a mean plate of pasta.


  1. Oh gosh, what a wonderful reprieve! It's so true, you never really know the true value of something until you almost lose it, eh? Sorry about the IBS though - but at least it could be worse?

    Darn blogger is driving me nuts, it's refusing to post me up as Shrinky - arghhhhhhhhh!!!

  2. Hi Shrinky! I know blogger is becoming a big ol' pain, but it's free right?

    It was a sweet reprieve for a foodie like me. In my past life I must have been a food critic (hence the IBS karma). hehe. Thanks for popping by!

  3. Make me pasta one day?