Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Day 232: Ouch. Ouch. (Ouch).

Ladies and gentlemen:
I am the cautionary tale of overzealous non-athletes everywhere.
Too much.
I did too much yesterday.
And it almost didn’t happen.
Oh, that I wish it didn’t!
I woke up resigned to being lazy all day.
I deserve it, I told myself.
Then, from my cozy position on the sofa, I could see my running shoes gleaming in the corner of the room.
Did I want to run?
Did I have any reason not to?
Was I going to be on a beach in a week and half?
Shit. Bikini trumps every time.
So Laziness and I fought a dirty dual and I won. 

Sort of.
I bounced out the door and was greeted by some hot sun.
Once again, I made it around the perimeter of the park, but the unleveled path was hard on the knees so I decided to take to the streets.
Ah yes, this is smoother.
About ten blocks in, I really hit my stride. It burned, but it felt amazing.
It was the first time I got into that kind of groove running, and I didn’t want to stop.
So I decided to go the entire 22 blocks to another big city park.
(What a dumbass. Did I even stretch?!).
Then the rookie mistake turned into colossal blunder.
I ran the perimeter of that park, too.
Until I collapsed onto the grass barely able to drink my water.
Oh. My. God.
What the hell was I thinking?
How am I gonna get home?
Someone – anyone- air lift me please.
I’m a fraud.

(No one heard me).
I made it home. Slowly.

But it took a lot of convincing to get up the three flights of stairs to my place.
I hate stairs.
Next time, Laziness, you win.


  1. Don't worry so much about being overweight - you have a lovely personality!

  2. Hahaha. Ha. Ha. If I could punch you on the arm I would. Hard.