Friday, April 15, 2011

Day 193: ...and if that mocking bird don't sing?


I wonder if I’ll ever be a mother.
It’s not something I let myself think about too much.
Or for too long.
But I hope for it.
Someday.
The crazy, protective love I have for my niece and nephew is like nothing I’ve known.
I can only imagine that love is magnified tenfold when they are your very own.
It’s funny; I’ve always been told I’d be a great mom by family and friends.
That I’m a natural around kids.
Or that kids are drawn to me.
And there is no greater compliment than that, is there?
It is comforting to hear.
That they think I’d fit into that club quite nicely.
But I have always had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that it wasn’t my destiny.
I don’t know why.
Just always felt that wish would not be granted.
And coincidentally, when I got my cards read over the years (for fun) they usually justified that doubt.
I never asked the question but they told me, “You will be like a mother to someone else’s child.”
Whatever that means.
I’m curious to know, if I did have one, what they would be like.
Boy?
Or girl?
Would they look as wide eyed as I did?
Be a book worm like I was?
Would they be musical?
I wonder.
Sometimes, I let myself wonder.



3 comments:

  1. Somedays I find myself wondering the same, what my baby would have looked like, wether he/she would be like me. Maybe someday I'll know.

    A xxx

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  2. You are one of the few people I would trust caring for Noah. :)

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  3. And what I know about kids is that can smell a fake a mile off - young ones aren't impressed by how much you earn, what job you have or what car you drive. They don't even care what you look like. But they know the genuine thing when they see it, so yes that is a huge compliment people pay you.
    If you don't get to be a mother, don't shut yourself away from other children - they need important and trustworthy people in their lives as they grow up, that aren't their parents. You will be a gift to others.

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