Thursday, February 10, 2011

Day 129: "Tumble outta bed, and stumble to the kitchen..."

I’d like to profess I am a free spirit but I have come to the frightening realization that I function best with some type of routine. Ugh, there I said it. I know this to be true because I have been on Unemployment Insurance many times in my adult life mostly due to the gypsy lifestyle that came with trying to build a music career. I did a lot of contract work, and then found myself off several months at a time. And, oh dear,  I was at my personal worst during those days of sleeping late, eating sporadically, and the general feeling of limbo that comes with being between jobs.

I hate the grown up rat-race feel of the 9-5 world, but it gets me out of the house by 8am. That’s a forced miracle! I’m most definitely not a morning person and some days I can feel the tears well up when that alarm clock rings. But I get up, because I have to, and my day gets pushed into action. I’d like to think that more time on my hands would lead to some creative masterpiece, but (who am I kidding?) procrastination is something I excel at when I know I have tomorrow and the next day to get to it. Instead, it’s the days when I have little ‘me-time’ that I stay up late to fiddle with ideas. Don’t you find that when you don’t have much time, you make better use of it?

As a society we are forced to adhere to certain time structures: business hours, school hours, parking days and times, weekday, weekend … It’s a pain in the ass to follow, but it provides practical organization to our daily lives. I hate to admit it but stability is a good thing. We have order and rules, and someone to answer to both professionally and personally. We are creatures of comfort, even though we crave to be wild and free. Or at least I do. I have been fighting convention my whole life. I pray to win the lottery so that I may have the luxury of ample time and means to travel the world. But hell, even the billionaires I know (and I know a few personally) follow a set routine. They have to, that’s how the world works. They don’t fly to Paris whenever they feel like it. They set vacation time and plan around it.

So… as much as I’d like to blame my day job for wiping away my inspiration these days with all it’s mundane to-do lists and predictability, I can’t. Truth be told, it keeps me in line and it gives me incentive to push myself that much harder to get to that glorious moment when these creative pursuits can be my job. And it provides the necessary money to pay my rent and internet bill to send these posts out everyday. Which I have been, in case you haven’t noticed. And it ain’t easy, friend. I’m lagging with my inventiveness. Winter is kicking my lethargic ass.  But I’m gonna keep on keeping on, and hope that tomorrow I’ll have something substantial to say. Fingers crossed I don't have to work late. Again.

4 comments:

  1. Do you know the saying "if you want something done give it to a busy person?" I think that's because there are some people who out of necessity probably know how to do lots in little time. Procrastination feels so good when you're doing it, but not so rosy down the track!
    I'm the opposite to you - a real morning person bouncing out of bed ready to talk and go, but I tend to fade fast in the evenings, so I haven't managed a post (which like you I promised to do every day) since Monday, so yes I have noticed that you are sticking to your regime. Well done you!

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  2. I've always seemed to date morning people...the whole yin/yang thing, I suppose. It helps to have someone cheerful waking you up gently. Thanks for the "well done"...(not so much lately, but thanks just the same). :)

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  3. i loved reading this post of yours...just wanted to say one thing here..keep sipping the cup of your life at your own pace!!
    :) :)

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  4. Hey Pallavi, thanks for all your sweet and insightful comments and for reading! :)

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