Friday, February 25, 2011

Day 144: meaningful coincidence

I love synchronicity.
It’s magical.
So magical, in fact, that I still feel like a little girl when I witness or experience it.
And it happens to me a lot.
If you’re a practical realist, you should probably stop reading now.
Or continue reading but get ready to roll your eyes.
Because I’m one of those people who reads into synchronicity.
Who holds her arms wide open to it.
And tries to piece together the puzzle it solves.
I like the idea of fluke turning into a twist of fate.
I enjoy that story.
I guess I’m a romantic.
An idealist.
It's funny how I type that, and feel like it's something I'm not supposed to announce publicly.
Romantic. There, I said it again.
I have to admit, though, I'm much less of a romantic than I used to be.
Still lofty, but guarded.
Still hopeful, but in a carefully measured way.
Is it possible to be a skeptical idealistic romantic?
Because I think that's what I am.
I mean, I used to believe in Soul Mates.
I don’t think I do anymore.
The whole Soul Mate thing was the reason for a lot of the uncertainty in my past relationships.
And their downfall.
But you know when it doesn't feel right.
And then one day, you meet someone.
And amazing synchronicity happens and you feel something inside that is different.
That stands apart.
That doesn't make any sense, because how can something so new feel so damn familiar?
So you think:
This must be the Soul Mate thing!
And I don't know all the Soul Mate rules or specs but I’m pretty sure when you feel like you’ve finally met them, that they’re supposed to recognize you as theirs too.
When they don’t…well, it sure feels like a big ol’ crock of shit, don’t it?
Soul Mate.
It's a bizarre concept, now that I think of it.
I'm chalking it up to watching too many of that kind of movie.
And anyway, I'm such an old soul I think I'm a few generations too late for mine.
BUT I do think things happen for a reason.
That people are drawn into our lives for some cosmic purpose.
That fate is involved in the introduction.
And that it's all part of the lesson we're meant to take with us when we leave this life.
I just can’t make up my mind as to how it all plays out.
Are we participants or puppets?
Is it all planned out and predestined?
Or are we the masters of our destiny, changing it every time we change our minds?
I don’t know.
I'm not sure I need to.
The point is to enjoy the wonder.
And as long as there is magic, I’m pretty sure I'll play along.

1 comment:

  1. Am I getting too repetitive when I say "I love this post!". I do. And I think about this subject a lot, honestly. I am very much in line with you on this Tanya, although I think I'd describe myself as a romantic/realist/cautious optimist. Ha.

    What you wrote reminded me of how Liz Gilbert talked about soul mates in "eat, pray, love" - which I really liked.

    Liz: "People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

    A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

    A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..."

    I like that because it separates the soul mate question from romance...and that gives me some comfort for some reason.

    Even now, I think of the woman I thought was my forever love and I can't imagine any life lesson that that could teach me where I'd say "Oh. Ok, that makes it worth losing her...". Sometimes I just want to say "Hey universe - I'm pretty stocked up on the lessons, thanks. I'd like to get the girl this time please? Maybe just the once?" Ha. :)

    Anyway. I keep believing in it, in romance and love and soul mates...but cautiously so. Sorry this is so long, I'm rambling.