Saturday, February 26, 2011

Day 145: add to cart.

My buddy sideproject (Christina) is back for her traditional guest blog. (Thank God she still entertains the idea). We went down to the relaxed Shaika cafe. With some early Beatles playing overhead, hot tea at our sides, and laptops back to back this is what we wrote about:

Discussion: facebook land

Social media is an odd thing. Facebook in particular. The adding and removing of friends. The displaying of our lives. It’s a strange land.

sideproject: Very strange. What about the ‘unlike’ button? That’s even more ambiguous. Why is that there? There is no equivalent to it in the real world. We don’t have a 'control z' in real life. How many times have you wanted to take back something you have said. It actually requires an apology. This way, someone can unlike something – with no explanation required. It’s not like your going to ask them why they unliked your post/comment/photo? What changed their mind? Why the reneging?

365Attempts: Yeah, that’s like saying, “I like your new haircut!” and then an hour later saying, “You know what, I took a good look at you and you look ridiculous. I can’t put my stamp of approval on that.” You can't do that in real life. There’s a whole new etiquette online. I think the worst is when people you met once will send you a friend request. Really? We met once. That’s like meeting someone on the street and inviting them over to look at your baby photos . People from highschool, that didn't really speak to you back then, look you up and persistently send friend requests. So you add them and then, guess what? They never message you or try to catch up.

sideproject: Or never chat with you when you’re online aka 'available to discuss such things as how I am doing, what is new' and the like.

365Attempts: Yes! It feels weird. So you delete them. And they get offended that you did. Dude, it’s like you’re peeping through my living room window while I have a party with my friends and family.  I  don’t get why they need to see my life...Why add me?

sideproject: To up their numbers. It’s the equivalent of having sex with a lot of people in your twenties. When I see people with 700 friends I think, “Oh my god, good for you!” and then the jealousy sets in. Why don’t I have 700 friends? How did they get that many friends? I have less that 75 friends and I feel like I have bastardized facebook because of it. I am the lower middle class on facebook. It’s the same with Twitter. I’m super excited when someone starts following me. Until I realize that everyone else has 3000 followers, and I have 40. I guess I just can’t bring myself to ‘follow’ or ‘friend’ people unless I have a genuine interest in them. “Adding to cart” is not my preferred style of getting to know people or maintaining friendships.

365Attempts:  Totally! It's like they check in, see if they want to buy into it (your life, your time) and send the friend request. Add to cart. And it's a very common phenomenon. It's scary! It makes me feel like my life is a crafted, marketed website. Am I a stock option?

sideproject: TSX 365Attempts. Hmmmm....actually....

365Attempts: Buddy, if I am, you’re already a major shareholder.

sideproject: Reaping the benefits. No, it’s true. You have a lot of friend money in the bank. You come into a new relationship already “friend-ancially” secure. As it should be.

365Attempts: Yeah, I’m starting to think there should be a pre-nup for friendships. There is so little bartering going on out there. Only take, take, take. How do I know if the interesting new people I meet are worth investing in? How can I tell if they only want the payout or if they are genuinely interested in the product? In my product.

sideproject: Well I’ve tested your product, and it’s worth the money. But in the society that we live in today, you gotta see half the “cash" before. You’re too much. You let everyone in. You gotta let only the “right” ones in.

365Attempts: You’re right, you’re right. I know you’re right.  I love being friendly, open and meeting new people but I have to be a little more selective. I need to only leave a deposit. Layaway plan. No more impulse stock purchasing. It's starting to get a little ridiculous.

sideproject: Yeah.

365Attempts: Damn you, facebook!

sideproject: ...and your security settings!


  1. Could not agree more with you dear, and with sideproject too. :) I never thought about the unlike button before, but what you said is SO TRUE. Hmmm.

    I have a love/hate relationship with fb. I miss the days when it was possible to say goodbye and disconnect from certain people. And now it seems just impossible. Waaah.

    Ok, now don't de-friend or unlike me please. I couldn't take it. :)xx

  2. Unlike? De-friend? You're stuck with me, friend. For reals.:)

  3. You may (or quite possibly may not) be interested to learn that you, and the much reviled Facebook have been catalysts for an outpouring of creativity of my own: entitled 'Face Book' I plan a portrait drawing every day for a year. Drawn on the pages of a diary, displayed in the gallery window and posted on the 'net. Of course I might get sued by big brother Fb but.....

    Oh, and I managed to stay on topic this time!

  4. Ouufff. Everyday for a year sounds great the first time you say it, but take it from is no piece of cake. It's 365 pieces of cake, actually. That's a whole lot of cake! But power to you if you're game. I'll be keeping tabs on your progress! :)