Friday, January 7, 2011

Day 95: Remembering the night restlessness took a much needed rest.

When I drove up and saw him standing and waiting in his doorway, something came over me. I don’t know if it was the smell of the summer rain coming in through the open car window, or if it was his “hey, it’s you!” smile that somehow covered me in nostalgia. How could an acquaintance I barely know have a smile so familiar that it is as comforting as that of an old confidant?
He got into the car and the hellos were simultaneously sweet and cordial. The evening conversation started out with the nervous energy of new friends making small talk and gradually grew to “where the hell are our lives going?” I’m not quite sure why I told him so much about myself that night.  Was it the relief that someone cared to ask? Was it that I found him so easy to be around?  It felt pleasant to have a man sharing his thoughts with me. His take on love, relationships, family and life in general… I think I forgot what that felt like. An actual conversation. In retrospect, I probably did let too much about my restlessness out, he probably thought I was all over the place... I just didn’t see any reason to be anything other than my neurotic-quirky-constantly-wondering self.
We even spoke of books we read, he recommended a few. He’s very smart and engaging. It’s a bit intimidating, actually. But at the same time he has (what my friend calls) a “teacher personality”.  He has a way of patiently explaining things in an animated way. A good story teller. That’s so killer. Love that.
A couple of times, while I was talking, I noticed how his eyes looked when he was listening intently to something I was saying.  He was looking right at me. People don't really do that so much. It made it kind of hard to concentrate on my words coming out cleverly…and I fumbled and lost my train of thought a few times. I think it was that and the combination of suddenly realizing the close proximity of our faces as we spoke in the crowded pub. I found it to be rather disarming in the loveliest of ways. I remember it was an unexpectedly comforting feeling.
I have no clue what he thought of me that night, or what he thinks of me after it… He said it was a “nice hang” and that we should do it again soon. But when I left him I couldn’t stop smiling. Even thinking back to that goodbye, I smile. If nothing else, he was a wake up call to me that night. I felt like I had spent time with a real, open man. That bubbly effervescence of a new friendship. The amazing sensation of having spent a few hours with someone I genuinely admire for all the right reasons. For a change.
It showed me that, maybe, I needn’t be so restless?

8 comments:

  1. This isn't right...I came over to say thank you for visiting my Blog and even taking the time to leave a comment, and I find this clever, witty, interesting Blog very few people seem to know you are here.

    I am going to nominate you to Hilary at Smitten Image for a mention on her Post of the Week spot. That should stir things up a bit.

    This Blog needs to be seen.
    XX

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  2. A lovely post. It sounds like the start of something beautiful.. here's hoping.

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  3. Moannie, your blog was my favorite find so far (thank you google blogs of note). I think you're a smashing writer, and love your perpsective on life. Imagine how happy I was to see you visited mine and then said such sweetness! You made my day. Thank you, so much. Sincerely!

    Hilary,
    This was a post I wrote from memory that actually happened two Septembers ago. He and I hung out once more on a snowy day and it was just as nice...but he has a girlfriend now. Still an acquaintance, though. Happy to know him, is all. Your blog is quite the array of whimsical randomness done right. Thanks for taking the time to visit a newbie. :-)

    Tanya

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  4. I just love how you tell a story, have I mentioned that? :)

    As for this, "I have no clue what he thought of me that night, or what he thinks of me after it… ", I feel pretty safe saying that was equally charmed (and then some).

    Keep that heart open to such things, and yes, let that restlessness drift away a bit. Love this.

    Have a great Sunday dear. x

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  5. You just explained something I never could. People would ask me why I had crushes on not-so-hot-looking celebs like Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings (mind you, he's hot!)... and all I could say was.. "They just seem like, men. Men with a story to tell. There's something about a man, drinking a glass of whiskey and telling their story."

    It's the ease and conversation... that feeling. "A real open man."

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  6. ah...this has a very nice feel to it...and to have those connection moments with someone, they do give us hope...

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  7. A lesson on feelings we still have and forget they are there. It is nice to be reminded of what makes us happy.

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  8. I enjoyed your post...it is a good feeling when we connect with others...when we feel safe enough to share our real selves...glad I came over from Hilary's...glad Hilary mentioned you on her POTW post...happy writing. :)

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