Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Day 99: Oh dear...

Man, 365 days.
I’m afraid to say it folks, but I'm starting to worry the well will run dry.
I asked--in an open forum style-- what I should write about today.
Some fun answers were:

Nat: Giant Disneyworld pickles and the bastardization of common foodstuffs for mass consumption. That, or bunnies.

Carolyn: Sex toys as a vehicle for frank discussion between couples.

(Noted, ladies. Noted).

It’s friggen hard to write everyday, people!!
And now I'm smack in the middle of a funk.
It's hard to say anything interesting when you’re in a funk.
And I don’t want to write about how I’m in a funk.
Because why the funk would you care if I was in a funk?
Unless you like funk, cause it’s so damn funky.
And in that case, you go right ahead and play that funky music, white boy.
Or perhaps I can post about how I seem to be allergic to myself.
All I ate was friggen’ veggies tonight and now I have an itchy hive on my lower arm.
I know…. Soooo sexy, right?
Hey , have you ever noticed how the word ‘sexy’ is sexier than the word ‘sex’?
Think about it.
Are you thinking?
Or are you just transfixed on the word sex, because I put in in bold italics?
Yes, I wrote sex.  And I’ll write it again damn it!
Well, in reality, I’ve written the word four times in this post already, so just simmer down over there and listen to your funk!
OK, I am seriously allergic to something. My lips feel funny.
They’re swollen.
Like I made-out with someone ‘high school styles’.
Except I didn’t, sadly.
Ahhh man.
Remember kissing, and only kissing, for hours when you were in high school?
That was fun.
Shit. Two more hives on my arms, and some on my face. They’re multiplying.
Don’t worry.
This is a regular occurrence.
I seem to be allergic to something new every few months.
It’s just time for the Benadryl cocktail.
Stupid itchy hives.
I’m pretty sexy right now, you have no idea. 
Am I hallucinating?
Do I hear showtunes?
Oh...never mind, Glee is on the tube. They're singing some Babs.
I like Glee.
This show tends to make me burst into song around the apartment.
Does it do that to you?
Oh who am I kidding, I burst into song all the time.
You know what my favourite thing to sing is when I’m cleaning?
Gershwin standards.
I love Gershwin.
I think I was born in the wrong era.
Maybe I’m allergic to this one.
That would explain A LOT!


  1. don't know if this helps but maybe you could write about... where (in the dreamland of your mind) you'd like to be next year at this time (make a wishlist)... why your favourite song is your favourite song... what you would do differently if you had to start your life over again... what advice you would give yourself if you could speak to your younger self... what you like most about the closest people in your life or what each of them has taught you... (giant disneyworld pickles is good too though)

  2. Hey Sweets, Muchos gracias for the suggestions. All good ideas. I cringed when I re-read this post this morning. I sound like a crack-head. In two Saturdays I take a fun 'personal essay' writing workshop with a great author. Hope that helps me get my groove back.

  3. The only thing I remember about making out in high school is the always painful blue-balls!!!


  4. That lingering kiss in public was a portrayal of love when I lived in California. Maybe it raised a few eyebrows, but was a enticement to have one after another sharing that moment when it was around.

  5. I think it's awesome that someone wrote blue balls after this post.
    Thank you for the laugh.

  6. You make me laugh! :) I think we require a meeting in real life one of these days. I will bring my big pickle. Take that any way you like.

  7. I just posted how freakin' funny YOU are.
    Yes, let's (you, me, and the pickle) meet.
    That would be a great band name.

  8. All I can say is, that if that is how you write when you have nothing to write about then you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

    Who says you have to write everyday.
    That way lies burn out.

  9. Thanks, Moannie. :-)
    I kind of do have to write everyday though, it's the challenge I set for myself with this blog. And although I stumble and write much drivel, it has been a healthy (albeit frustrating) daily exercise for my mind. Gonna try my bestest!