Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Day 51: Drama in the daytime.

Soap Operas. What a strange concept of narrative. A ridiculous blend of the mundane mixed with theatrical over-the-top shenanigans.  I have been home a lot of late, and between 1pm and 4pm the TV is hijacked by daytime drama.  Most of these shows have been running for over 50 years with no signs of stopping.  And people watch this stuff religiously (I used to as a teen, mostly because my mom and sister got me hooked) but was it always this bad
Here are some of my observations over twenty years later:
·         All the “big” stars who left the show to pursue a career in film, are all back at their daytime gig. Seriously, identical casts from 1987… Guess that didn’t pan out, huh?
·         How does time stand still for some and accelerate at triple speed for others? Kids who were kids back in my day now have adult children, while Auntie What’s-Her-Face is still dating. Who is doing the life math on the writing team?
·         Someone is still getting buried alive. (?!)
·         Love triangles now include long lost offspring. (Ewww.)
·         Why do they never know who the father is? Like, EVER?
·         People still wake up in their hospital beds with full makeup and coiffed hair. And why is it that most daytime drama scenes are performed in hospitals anyway?
·         Why is it always ridiculously sunny outside, everyday?
·         When is the last time you had an entire conversation with your back to the person you’re conversing with (while making constipated faces to an invisible camera in front of you)?
·         In case you don’t get the gist that someone is in trouble by the words being spoken, there is handy foreboding string music with heavy bass (just in case). And they usually cut to commercial right after (another handy hint).
·         They still do the sappy montage at the end of the show; with clips of each character looking out the window, or kissing their lover happily, or crying alone holding a picture frame, or fiendishly fishing out a gun from a locked office drawer…
Oy vey!
Well, at least I got some makeup and hair ideas.

1 comment:

  1. hahahah. nice to read something funny coming from you!
    what i learned through soaps.
    1.spend a percentage of your salary on hairspray.
    2. going outside is overrated.
    3. eating is a waste of time, you could be talking or plotting revenge. duh!
    4. a girl can't have enough lipstick
    5. when i grow up i want to have a fancy desk, that's how i know im important.
    6. all family names should start with the same letter. soo cute- nick nicky nicole nicola ....
    and lastly 7. never wear the same thing twice. ever.